#1 This Handy Face Protector
These aren’t for cosplaying Spy vs. Spy. And although they look ideal for maintaining a healthy anti-social distance, they’re not for that either. They’re actually face masks to protect your face from the ravages of snow storms. When those razor sharp flakes come hurtling through the air at gale-force speeds, your delicate skin will be protected.
#2 These Reading Glasses
These reading glasses were invented in England in 1936. Was reading in bed a lot harder back then? Was sleeping on your side illegal? Maybe an inter-war pillow shortage made propping yourself up impossible. Whatever the reason, we’re sure these were totally necessary.
#3 This Piano
Well this is specific. It’s a piano made specifically for the bedridden. Is there a specific type of being bedridden that precludes you from being propped up in front of a regular piano? Yes? Well that small subsection of humanity must be really happy.
#4 The Extensible Caravan
Camping in close quarters is the pits. Why not give your next camping trip a little more room with the extensible caravan? We’re sure it’s much easier to drive than it looks. Spending your vacation stuck on the side of the road is sort of like spending it in the woods, right?
#5 The Radio Hat
The “radio hat” was invented in 1931 by an American inventor. It was the world’s first boom box and it sold like gangbusters. Unfortunately, almost everyone who bought one was physically assaulted by their roommates or while riding public transportation. Coincidentally, 1931 was also the year that the word “douchenozzle” was invented. We’re not sure if any of that is true.
#6 Wooden Bathing Suits
These are wooden bathing suits. The principle underlying them is pretty sound. Wood does float and floating does make swimming easier. Unfortunately every decision after that was all wrong turns and crotch splinters.
#7 Radio Stroller
This elaborate contraption is called a “radio stroller”. It was invented in 1921 for busy moms. The patent says it’s designed to keep the baby calm and quiet. But it looks more like it’s designed to drown the baby so it just sounds like he’s quiet.
#8 A New Type of Motorcycle
This one-wheeled motorcycle was invented in Germany in 1925. It’s inventor was looking for a way to make motorcycles more difficult to ride and more dangerous. Despite it’s improvements on the original, the one-wheeled motorcycle never took off. We guess the world just wasn’t ready.